Salaam and hi to all,
Do you find it so hard to say "no" that you regularly do favors you do not want to do? Or do you find it hard to say "yes"? Most people who fear taking a stand in favor of their own true feelings are TOO concerned about what others will think about them (I am referring this to myself). This is the mark of a person lacking in self-confidence. (..and it refers to me, too.) Time will confirm the fact that one cannot please everyone by saying "yes" or "no" against their own wishes. Since you cannot control the feelings or the actions of other people, you will soon learn the only person you can control and please by whatever you decide to say- or do - is yourself! (I mean, myself.)
On the other hand, I used to find it hard to say no, but I have learned that I hurt feelings less by saying no. If I say yes out of obligation and do not want to do it, I am unhappy and maybe do not do as good of a job, or if I do a good job I am on edge and when there is one little complaint, I explode. For example "How dare you! You are so ungrateful. I didn't want to help you in the first place, now you complain about the job I did!" Experience has taught me that a simple and honest "I don't have time to do that right now" or even better "No" saves relationship better than doing things I don't want to do half heartedly. But, sometimes it is very hard to say “No” even though it is a genuine respond.
Having said that, I do not find it hard to say yes when I want to help, and since I can say no freely I have no problem in this area today. The good book says "Give with a glad heart". To me that means don't give and be grumpy about it. If I can't give gladly, everyone is better off if I just say no.
Just my two cents.
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Anyway, enjoy the pictures below. They were captured during my stay in Kuching, Sarawak, last year. Million thanks to Andy and Ivy for the good company!
10 comments:
You could have been talking about me in this post. I have spent most of my life trying to please others . . . it is a hard lesson to realize that you will never make everyone happy no matter how hard you try. One must be true to oneself. That is where confidence comes from and then when we love it is with truth and all our hearts.
I love the photos you have on your blog, especailly of the weddings. So very beautiful. I am a romantic at heart and a wedding is a joyous time when love is true.
I will come back again. I enjoy reading old posts as well as the most recent. I just had a few minutes to read some of your posts and I do especially like the one from 2009 about "Personal happiness".
Thank you for stopping by and commenting on my blog.
Lovely pictures, I really like the one with the water in the sunset.
Now that you mention it, I'm not sure if I get asked to do enough stuff that I know whether or not I have a problem with it! Interesting though. I think I usually say yes to things.
Lovely post, lovely pictures! Couldn't ask more.
saying "no" is as equally important as saying "yes"
in fact, sometimes, we can help a person a lot more simply by saying "no". hehe
Don't be too emotional. Have to relax a bit. That is normal. We cannot please everyone. That's life.
This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No.....”
so very beautiful.
Just say, “I’m sorry. I can't do this right now.” Use a sympathetic, but firm tone. If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit with your schedule, and change the subject. Most reasonable people will accept this as an answer, so if someone keeps pressuring you, they’re being rude, and it’s OK to just repeat, “I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t fit with my schedule," and change the subject, or even walk away if you have to.
Another good photos. I will come back and give more positive comments.
Haven't meet you yet!
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